Sexual Repression

The media has contributed to the confusion in our culture between repression and suppression. "Poster after poster, film after film, novel after novel, (CS) Lewis notes, “associate the idea of sexual indulgence with the ideas of health, normality, youth, frankness, and good humour.” He claims this association gives a false impression and is a lie. “Like all powerful lies,” Lewis explains, “it is based on a truth.. that sex in itself.. is ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’.. the lie consists in the suggestion that any sexual act to which you are tempted at the moment is also healthy and normal.” Lewis adds that human sexuality, like gravity or any other aspect of our universe, cannot in itself be moral or immoral. Sexuality, like the rest of the universe, is given by God and therefore good. How people express their sexuality, on the other hand, can be moral or immoral.

Armand Nicholi
The Question of God

A Delighted Pre-Occupation

There may be those who have first felt mere sexual appetite for a woman and then gone on at a later stage to “fall in love with her”. But I doubt if this is at all common. Very often what comes first (with true love) is simply a delighted pre-occupation with her in totality. A man in this state really hasn’t leisure to think of sex. He is too busy thinking of a person. The fact that she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself.

CS Lewis
The Four Loves

Bawdy Humor

The truth is humans are pretty clearly divided on (the matter of indecent or bawdy humour) into two classes. There are some to whom "no passion is as serious as lust' and for whom an indecent story ceases to produce lasciviousness precisely in so far as it becomes funny: there are others in whom laughter and lust are excited at the same moment and by the same things. The first sort joke about sex because it gives rise to many incongruities: the second cultivate incongruities because they afford a pretext for talking about sex. If your man is of the first type, bawdy humour will not help you — I shall never forget the hours which I wasted (hours to me of unbearable tedium) with one with one of my early patients in bars and smoking-rooms before I learned this rule.

A thousand bawdy, or even blasphemous, jokes do not help towards a man's damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only it can get itself treated as a Joke.

CS Lewis
Screwtape Letters